Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Confessions of a Tech Addicted Pastor

The other day, I confessed to my tech addiction. I am one of those Millenials who picks up their phone way too often to check their notifications. I am one of those screen-addicted people who can tend to ignore the people in front of them for the digital "community" of social media. 

As I stated previously, I've known about this problem and have been told I have this problem, but I never truly admitted the problem to the inner part of my soul. I've let this acknowledgment of a problem remain on the surface, and the times I did confess it aloud.  

Confession and repentance however are two different things. We can confess to a sin and refuse to repent. We may not conscientiously say "I refuse to repent", but if we confess and do not repent, we will know it when we walk right back into that sin without guilt or conviction (KEY phrase being without guilt or conviction). This has been my attitude towards my tech addiction. I realize: this must change.

John Mark Comer, in his book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry talks about the very negative effects that tech addiction like mine can have on a person. He says that we must "Let prayer set our emotional equilibrium and Scripture set our view of the world"(p. 229), not our addiction to technology. His discussion on the addiction to tech caused me to ponder these questions...

What has this addiction really done to me? 

Why would I need to move away from such an addiction? 

Let me share a few ways I engaged technology and the negative effects they've been having on my life...these are true honest confessions. I want you to see if you fit into some of, if not all of my journey...

1. I reached for my phone as soon as I woke up
Comer states: "The stats are ominous: 75% of people sleep next to their phones, and 90% of us check our phones immediately upon waking" (p. 228).

I have no room to judge you if this is you...

I allowed Facebook and all the junk that's going on or perceived to be going on in our world to start my day.  I allow the world "out there" to set the tone for my emotional equilibrium. I began my day stressed. I began my day worried about the nasty comment I received on my post from the night before. I started my day thinking about how to respond to that email/message about someone's frustration with me. I chose the phone over the Bible next to my phone. I woke up focussing on anything but the Lord. I also neglected my family right away because I just "had to" answer this message or that email. I just "had to" clarify my post. I "just had" to comment on someone else's post. In so doing...ignoring the people I had right in front of me. 

Of course none of those are things I actually "had to do" and definitely not right away. Yet, I made those things both urgent and necessary...I did that. I continue to do that. I relapsed this weekend and checked an email at home before I went to work. The email frustrated me and caused me to be a little snippy. It set the tone for my day.

2. At stop signs or stop lights, I'd check my phone.
Anyone willing to admit this one too? I know you're out there. I can't be alone, can I?

The same drive that caused me to look at my phone in the morning causes me to look at my phone while I am behind the wheel. My morning commute from my house to the church is literally 4 minutes TOPS...yet, at almost every stop sign or stop light I would find myself habitually checking my phone. WHY?!

This is where a little science is helpful. Way back in 2016 (ha), researchers discovered this:

"Lots of studies have worked toward figuring out what exactly goes on in our brains when we’re participating in social media—specifically, Facebook.
A recent one discovered a strong connection between Facebook and the brain’s reward center, called the nucleus accumbens. This area processes rewarding feelings about things like food, sex, money, and social acceptance.
When we get positive feedback on Facebook, the feeling lights up this part of our brain. The greater the intensity of our Facebook use, the greater the reward.
Another fascinating study recorded physiological reactions like pupil dilation in volunteers as they looked at their Facebook accounts to find that browsing Facebook can evoke what they call flow state, the feeling you get when you’re totally and happily engrossed in a project or new skill." (Retrieved from https://buffer.com/resources/psychology-of-facebook)
This is why it is so hard NOT to check your phone while driving (or stopped)...there is a reward system within our brain chemistry. So, we're not crazy for doing this...yet because we do, we can notice...we have a tech addiction problem. There is no way anyone would take a risk like taking their eyes off the road while driving unless it were to fill an addictive need. 

These are but two areas where my tech addiction has come into play. Challenged by John Mark Comer, I am setting some things in place. 

First, I leave my phone where it is when I wake up. I do not check it. I make some coffee, let my wife sleep in, and go to the rocking chair in my living room to drink coffee and soak in the Psalms. I've also started a new book, which is also challenging me in the way of sabbath rest- Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership by Ruth Haley Barton.

Second, I do not check my email (and most of the time, Facebook), before I get into the office. These are two minor steps and I will continue to add more as John Mark Comer suggests 20 ways! Not all of them are feasible for me right now, especially with COVID-19, but many are. 

I share this because I do not think I am alone. As I journey, may you journey with me (if only through seeing how God progresses me). Maybe you will find yourself in my words. Maybe like me, you've run from dealing with tech addiction and your times of Sabbath rest. This journey, I am discovering is a marathon, not a sprint. So much conditioning will go into this journey. Join me!




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