Maybe you do neither and hate the New Year's focus on "new things", but I think each year (no matter when it's done) each one of us can use a healthy dose of both reflection and anticipation. Reflections help us to celebrate the wins and grieve the losses. I've heard some state: "2018 was too hard to reflect on, there was simply too much loss and too much pain". There are years that are worse than others that are filled with both loss and pain. YET, if we do not properly grieve those painful losses, we simply carry it over from one year to the next. Moving into 2019 doesn't change the pain or the loss and we can't pretend we are "over 2018" when we don't wrestle with the pain and loss. Not all losses are bad ones either. We may have gotten a new job (like I did) and that is a win to celebrate, BUT there was a loss that came with the win. With that in mind...
Here's some of what I lost in 2018:
Close proximity to family. Granted, I only moved an hour and twenty minutes away, but no one is as close as they were and that makes it more difficult to see my family regularly.
Close proximity to friends. Same as above.
A ministry I helped build. At Pitt, Joseph and I were used by God to start a campus church from scratch. We prayed, cheered, cried, screamed and worked hard on and for Aletheia. It was a 6-year journey of blessing, fun, pain, and growth. When the Lord called me to Indiana, PA, I had to step away from Aletheia and then would later see the funds for that ministry go elsewhere. That was an extremely painful loss.
Nyack College as I knew it. My alma mater decided to move the entire campus to the inner-city of New York City. That means the halls I walked, the dorm I slept in and the classes I learned in, will no longer physically exist. God used that place to shape me in many ways. Losing the "place" was a loss that I was saddened by.
Loss is important to recognize, but so are wins.
Here's some of what I won in 2018:
A stronger relationship and appreciation for Hilary (my wife). Moving tests and challenges marriages. My wife is a humble rockstar and I truly couldn't do what I do without her. Job, parenting, life, you name it she makes it all that much better! I think this move to Indiana strengthened us as a couple.
A new church family. Although it was sad and difficult to leave Aletheia and Allegheny Center Alliance Church (not to mention the city), God blessed us with a tremendous church family here in Indiana, PA. We feel so welcomed, loved, appreciated, encouraged and blessed in this new church family!
New friends. When you move, you lose friends or see good friends less, BUT you also gain new friends! God has blessed us with some great new friends and fantastic neighbors as well.
New published book. Unleash Empowering the Next Generation of Leaders came out Sept. 2018! It has been fun seeing the response of the general public on this book and it is always fun to see tangible results of something you work hard to produce!
A new job and a new position. In my old role, I was not "in leadership". Although I was in charge of a small, growing congregation of college students, my role at ACAC functioned as staff. Status of position doesn't mean much, but in this new role I can really teach and guide a vision in a different capacity in which I am very blessed and excited to do.
A new home. Hilary and I lived in a small house (approx. 1,000 sq. ft.). I didn't consider it small until we were blessed with a parsonage roughly 2.5 times the size! What a win and blessing to celebrate!
Taking time to reflect on both wins and losses is important. Reflection sets us up to better anticipate the coming year. There may have been goals set (not resolutions) in the past year that we need to make more of an effort to accomplish. There may have been painful mistakes that can be either corrected or redirected into learning for the future. Reflection also leads to introspection. Maybe in the coming year, you should no longer be in the job, position, town, relationship (not talking marriage here folks), friendship, house, apartment or whatever else you may need to leave. Only introspection, prayer, and guidance from the Holy Spirit can help guide you in this.
Take time to think about the losses and wins of this past year...
Once reflection and introspection have been properly done, anticipation should follow.
Anticipation looks ahead. At the end of 2019, what wins do you hope to see and what losses do you know will come? Anticipating loss is good. I knew for more than 6 months that God was calling me out of Pittsburgh and into something new. This gave me time to anticipate the loss, which didn't deaden the pain, it did however lessen it.
Here are some of what I am anticipating this coming year:
THE GOOD:
More dates with my wife.
A deeper relationship with my wife.
A closer relationship with my kids.
A deeper relationship with the Lord.
A movement of the Holy Spirit.
Birth of new ministries.
Spiritual and numerical growth for Indiana Alliance Church.
Younger leaders launched from our church.
Deepened friendships.
THE BAD:
Tough spiritual battles.
Spiritual attacks.
Lies spoken about me and my family.
Loss of people due to death.
Grumpy and contrarian people.
THE WISHES:
Straight A's in my MDiv classes.
50 plus books read.
A new book written.
If these anticipations don't happen, then as I reflect next year I will be able to grieve the losses and celebrate the wins. These are not "goals" or "resolutions" but rather what I anticipate happening. I definitely have a role to play in "getting these done", and I will do my part to the best of my ability, but I choose expectation over goal setting.
I don't want the Bad anticipations to happen, but I must be realistic. When I seek to see a movement of the Spirit, I'd better not be foolish and think it will be easy and neither should you.
Take time to reflect, introspect and anticipate today!
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